Things have been a little different around here for the last few weeks and I realize I haven’t written a blog post in quite sometime but this is one I’ve been wanting to write for a while.
When diagnosed with POF, I felt so alone, so sad that I couldn’t conceive children, so unhappy. Through the years I learned to deal with it, read lots of books, and confided mostly in my sister and husband. Well in the last year since being very active on the fertility journey I have never felt so connected to the infertility world. I have met so many people who have had their children through adoption or some sort of ART- assisted reproductive technology, and actually have more virtual friends (Facebook and Instagram) than physical friends. Being on this journey has made me very vulnerable and much more outgoing than I’m used to but its the first time in forever I’ve not felt alone in this journey.
When I connected my blog to facebook I regretted it very quickly after as I realized I have over 200 friends on there who many are people that I haven’t seen or talked to in years. Yes we’ve connected on there, liked photos, maybe commented here or there, but most people didn’t know of my journey with infertility and I didn’t necessarily want them to.
Well, one day, a friend on facebook whom I see often but is more of an acquaintance, told me she had read my blog post and that she really wanted to talk. At first this felt weird but then when she continued on I realized she was also in the infertility world! She had told me that her children were conceived with donor sperm and explained her journey. She KNEW what I was going through. I felt so connected to her and so happy that she had read my blog. You just never know…
So this is why I wrote this blog. This woman was the very reason why I decided I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I wanted to connect with everyone I possibly could, I wanted them to know they aren’t alone and I wanted to feel like I wasn’t either. Now, since then, I have disconnected my Facebook from my blog but I am very much involved with my embryo adoption Instagram and embryo adoption/donation Facebook group and hope that I can get followers and at least my blog connected that way. The infertility world is brutal and it takes so much strength to power through. It takes a whole tribe of us to to get through it and if I didn’t decide to take the jump and be vulnerable, I wouldn’t have met all of these incredible and supportive people, I wouldn’t have met our embryos genetic family and I wouldn’t have continued this journey, I truly believe that.
So with that said, we aren’t alone, you aren’t weird or abnormal, and our babies will get here in some way, just don’t give up. I often wonder if I will become cold, and numb to it all, but I don’t think its possible, its just not who I am…
I’m here for you, and thank you for being part of my journey…
2 thoughts on “You Never Know…”
Very positive thoughts Jessica. I am very proud of your continued journey and being able to witness your determination and bravery. I love you dear one💗
Thanks Mom! Xo