Who is JJ??

Oh the question who is JJ? JJ is our Josie Joy. She is the light of our life and the greatest gift to our family. When doing an open adoption, you never know what that entails. But for us it meant that we got to be in love with this tiny person before she was even born. There is the quote, “You grew in my heart, not in my tummy” and it is so very true. So much struggle with infertility and so much hurt, brought us to this person who we would get to be parents to. JJ’s birth mom allowed us into her lives, into her pregnancy. I got to know her, got to see how much love she had and how much she cared about this baby that was going to come into the world. I would take her to her doctor appts. to make sure everything was ok, I would take her to lunch, we created a relationship and for her I think this was important to know who she would be placing her baby with. Getting to see ultrasounds and learning if JJ was girl or a boy were some of the most special days. We were honored to be at the hospital when JJ was born and for me to be in the room was one of the most amazing things I could have ever gone through.

JJ came out perfectly pink and screaming her head off. Right then and there, I knew she was going to change the world, I knew there was something so very special about her. We took her home and life was like a whirlwind. She did all the things babies do; cry, poop, eat… She woke every 2 hours for many many months and loved to be held. We had a bassinet for her next to our bed but she enjoyed our bed so much more. So, for the first 6 months, we had this rolie polie baby in our bed, while mommy slept very little. At 6 months, after not sleeping more than a couple hours at a time, in her crib she went. That was the first time she had ever slept in her crib and the first time she slept 8 hours straight! The girl needed her space and so did mommy! JJ cried a lot as a baby, had reflux, and was often hard to soothe. She was strong willed at the start of her life and to this day is a firecracker in itself.

JJ loves, she’s hilarious, she’s emotional, and so incredibly smart. We as parents often tend to be biased on our own children, and at times I am, but her intelligence is beyond most that I have ever met in a 5 year old. She is witty and “gets” way more than she probably should. I don’t mean she can read chapter books, do division math problems, or has incredible book smarts, but her intellectual abilities are those of a 9 or 10 year old and sometimes I feel like I’m talking with a 12 year old. The things that come out of her mouth are often surprising, because you aren’t sure if she knows what shes talking about but then you realize she does. JJ has a heart of gold but is a very tough girl. She will put up a fight until she wins most of the time. She will watch a movie (Marley and Me) with me and she and I will be bawling together, like another adult.

Our JJ is loved by so many people in this world, and anyone that every meets her is so very lucky.

I could have never imagined such a perfect child for our family. She’s everything we could have imagined and more. SHE WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS AND SHE ALREADY HAS CHANGED THE WORLD!

That’s all for now!


Adoption is Love…

adoption is love 6

Adoption is Love… Adoption runs deep in our family and it is truly one of the most amazing things on this planet. When I was a little girl, I never knew anyone who was adopted, I didn’t even know about it. Nobody spoke about people being adopted, at least not in my family. I probably went to school with children that were adopted but never knew, now I wish I did. So many adoptions aren’t recognized, and people go on in their lives feeling like its not something they can talk about. Some children were and probably are told to never tell anyone and that whoever adopted you are your parents and that’s how it is. Someone once told me that they got scolded as a child for mentioning that they were adopted and to me that was so sad.

When we decided to adopt, it came very natural. My husband was adopted as an infant, his sister was adopted as an infant, I have a 10 year old old sister that was adopted by my step-mom and dad at birth, I have a 16 year old brother who was adopted by my step-mom and dad at birth and I have 2 cousins who were also adopted, one at 18 months and the other at 11. All of these made the decision that much easier. adoption is love We knew that whoever was adopted into our family would have plenty of others to relate to including their own daddy.  (Picture right- adopted brother, middle left- ME, middle right- adopted sister, right- our JJ)

There are different types of adoption, but the most basic terms are Open Adoption or Closed Adoption. Back in the day, closed adoptions were much more common than they are now, and many agencies will only advocate for open adoptions. Many agencies believe that the main goal should be to reunify the biological family with the child. In many cases this has worked, unfortunately, its not always whats best for the child.

Open adoption is so wonderful and can mean many things. Open adoption can be as much as sending pictures, and an update to the biological family once per year or actually having the biological family part of the child’s life.

It is so very important to us that we had an open adoption with our daughters biological family. From seeing it work within the other adoptions in our family, it was definitely in our plan… For JJ (our daughter) we have always been 100% honest with her. She knows that we adopted her when she was born, she knows she didn’t grow in my tummy and she knows how badly we wanted a baby. JJ knows that her biological family love her and although we don’t see them, she is in their hearts. adoption is love4

Spending lots of time with JJ’s birthmom before she was born helped me learn what our girl might be like (thats another post). Some days she drives me crazy, but most days she has this personality that I am proud to know that she got it from her birth mom. adoption is love3Maybe not all of her personality came from her genetic side but I lift her birth mom up high. The tough and witty side of JJ that I see, I saw in her birth mom and for that I am grateful. Although we are JJ’s parents, she will always have a piece of her birth mom, and that is love.

I’m sure I will touch more on adoption as time goes on but for now, I feel thankful. I feel thankful that JJ’s birth mom chose us to be her parents, and that we get to give her the life that her birth mom wanted for her.