It has been a while that I have come into this space. When I first started this blog, it was meant for educating the world of infertility and also a space for me to write down all of my feelings; fears, accomplishments, daily motions that go along with the dreaded infertility. As you all know we adopted 4 embryos last April from a lovely family and are just now coming up on that year of knowing them. We had two transfers that did not succeed and from there we decided to switch clinics. Switching clinics meant that we would have to transport these embryos to another clinic in Seattle and hope that this was the right place for us, and our embryos. When I first went to the new clinic I got such a great feeling, it was warm, comforting and the staff was like night and day from the last clinic. Now not many people really know me, but those that do know that I am a sensitive soul, need a lot of coddling and I felt that after all we been through this was definitely the case this time. The nurse remembered my story and my situation every time I came in for my appointments. She would remember what we did the last time and it all fit together like a puzzle. I remember years ago at one of the clinics I went to, I was treated like a new patient every single time. Every time I would go in, I would have to re-tell my story and where I was in the journey, it was awful! This new clinic like I said was different.

When the clinic gave me my transfer date, they told me the doctor that I would be with, and to my surprise it was not the doctor that I had been seeing. I had originally said there was no way that I wouldn’t be with my doctor but when they told me the soonest date I could transfer was with this other doctor, I just agreed. At first I was scared as I had never met him before but when I read his background I felt better about him. He was one of the first doctors in the embryo transfer world that had created the catheter that would pass the embryo to the patient. That to me seemed really important, so I then became excited. It was about 2 weeks before transfer that they let me know the for sure date and then we would start the medications. I started some progesterone gel that you insert vaginally, progesterone in oil injections, and estrace. I felt like at this point me and the husband were pros at this and couldn’t wait to get started. And so it went… the days leading up to transfer I was very calm but optimistic, different than the times before.

TRANSFER DAY… Oh man transfer day. It was truly amazing and I get chills just thinking about it. We go into the office and wait for my in office acupuncture. The lovely acupuncturist comes out to get me and asks if my husband would like to join us? We looked at each other, smiled and agreed that that would be awesome! I took my valium and got on the bed where the lady inserted the needles while explaining what they were for. It was euphoric almost and one of the most special things was having D there. After acupuncture they led us into the transfer room and I got undressed from the waist down and lied on the table. Shortly after the doctor came in. He was so calm seeming and I had explained to him that I had done my research on him, he smiled and was impressed. At this point I was super relaxed and was so excited D was sitting next to me. We watched the camera as they did a mock transfer, just seeing exactly where the embryo would go and I felt so confident that this was the one. They brought in the embryo from the lab and in it went. It was quick and painless and the embryo was in! After transfer, we stayed in the transfer room where the acupuncturist came back in to insert needles in me. That was really relaxing and seemed like it was working, again a sense of euphoria. So, after we left and went out to lunch where I had a burger and fries and was so ready to take a nap.

THE 2WW (two week wait)… Well this two week wait was definitely different. I was way more calm than the previous two. I felt like everything went so different that this had to be the one. I took walks with my dog, we took our daughter to the snow, I enjoyed the thoughts of being pregnant and I didn’t once POAS (pee on a stick). Luckily this 2ww was only 9 days so didn’t feel nearly as long.

TEST DAY… I had to be at the clinic bright and early and for this I was ok with that! They drew my blood and then I was told that it would be several hours that they would call with my beta numbers. I went to target, killed some time and then went home and watched One Last Shot, a documentary about a couple with infertility. I cried the whole time thinking I wasn’t sure if I could handle the heart break again, I honestly wasn’t sure.

THE CALL… “Hi Jessica, this is Beth from ***, I wanted to let you know that your first numbers are great and you’re pregnant, and you’ll need to stay on your medications and come back on Monday to make sure your levels are rising…” I was in utter shock. I’m not sure I knew what shock felt like before that, but that call definitely left me in shock. I was sweating and crying and called D asap. He sounded also in shock and we were just so happy that this one worked. D said he prayed that morning and I said I did too (I’m not the praying type). After sharing the news with my very closest loved ones I had to wait until Monday to make sure it was going up! Longest weekend of my life. Oh and what did I do as soon as I got off the phone? Immediately peed on a stick or 4! And there two lines!

And so, there I was, I was pregnant! What?! I couldn’t believe it! I couldn’t believe that it finally worked. Yes there were so many things that helped this transfer and this little one was definitely meant to be… My levels continued to go up and things were all looking good and we are happy to say that…

After many years of infertility, 3 costly frozen embryo transfers, 135 injections in my back side, and a whole lot of heart break, WE ARE PREGNANT… Due Nov, 2018

Love Always,