I sure hope so! We have been through so much and I want to have a victory! I want to be able to thank the Universe or my lucky stars or whoever, I want to cry happy tears and celebrate the victory of becoming pregnant! I want to be able to be able to share with our donors that the little embie made it, that they were the one and that I will do my very best to keep them safe and comfy for the next 9 months. I want to be able to tell little JJ that this one worked, that she will have a sibling when she’s 6 years old. I want to go into our 12 year wedding anniversary weekend with lots of sleep and yummy eating and not one drop of alcohol because I have a growing baby in my tummy. For the last 2 transfers, I wanted these things too but as we keep going with the motions I can’t help but say I want this one soooooo bad!
Yesterday was my endometrial scratch. When first told about this, I immediately was freaked out! Scratch?! That sounds terrifying. You’re telling me you are going to scratch my uterus? OWWWWWWW! At my old clinic I had several very painful procedures with lack of compassion or care and so this had made me so nervous for anything. Fortunately, I have the most kind and gentle nurse that has made everything so far comfortable and very clear to understand. She tells me everything she’s doing step by step, but the very best thing about her is that she remembered me from last time and I felt like she truly cared about what she was doing.
So now, I start my meds and I got the strong meds ordered from the specialty pharmacy, we have paid for our FET and we are on the road to Transfer #3. While most people that get pregnant don’t share when they had sex, conceived and all of the details until 8-12 weeks, my whole life as an adult hasn’t been that way. I’ve been poked and prodded like a big giant science experiment for a very long time, and nothing is private at this point. We know the sex of our embies, we will know exactly how far along we are, we know lots of things about their genetics, we know that they are healthy up to this point, etc… I don’t get to have a glass of wine and just get frisky and get pregnant. I get to tell our children that they came to us from baby seeds, or adoption, and you know what? I’m ok with this. This is our journey, and on the days that I am down in the dumps and feeling sorry for myself, I try and remember that our babies, including little JJ are meant to have their story, they are meant to come to us in the way that they did. Little JJ is a light in this world that shines so bright and I can’t imagine her being in any other family than ours, since day one, I knew it was meant to be. So, future babies we’re here, we’re ready for you to be part of us, part of this life, this family.
For the next few weeks,
-pre-natals, DHA, vitamin D, folic acid, baby aspirin
-YL essential oils
I also have something pretty huge that I’m putting together for my blog, and can’t wait to share. It’s quite time consuming so it will be a while before its ready, but I think it will help so many people out there with their questions! So stay tuned for that…
Thank you all so much for your continued support and if you know someone out there who is struggling to conceive let them know they aren’t alone, let them know there is so much support out there!